Monday, March 19, 2007

Stuck

I started this wonderful blog...sent a few comments to others and then I GOT STUCK.
First of all there was the fear of no response, I was afraid to open my blog because I was afraid I would be left alone with my Hand & Spirit posts ( which by the way would not be totally unreasonable since I just entered this whole world) however the insecurity was louder than logic and I just avoided this space for a while....but then 2 days ago I peeked and YES!!! I had a few comments YEA! and THank-you THank-you THank-you. Next came the fear ....What if I show up and they don't like me?!?! Silly me, Silly thoughts, I am 45 years old and I KNOW all the mature true ways to respond to a fear like that .....but I did vow to be honest here and so I am. Anyway this morning I went to go off to work and my car wouldn't start after making a few calls and some arrangements I surrendered to the fact that I would be "STUCK" at home today. The irony of being stuck home alone with my "stuckness" prompted me to move forward.
I have had a wonderful weekend which started on THursday with the birth of 10, yes 10 boxer puppies! All went incredibly well, and our dear Keano is a wonderful mommy. So as a result we have had a bevy of friends and family stopping by to see the sweet new babies as well as two of my sons home from college to visit and meet them. It is always sooo delightful to have them home. Oh...I forgot to mention that on Friday we had a huge snow storm arrive which cancelled some previously scheduled activities and allowed us to stay home and enjoy each other, the new puppies and all our visitors!!! The other little bonus I got from this flurry of activity was a great excuse to put off all the things I've been afraid to tend to, you know the things that make your heart a bit heavy or show up as eye twitches or just plain exhaustion. And then today....WA LA! My car won't start and I get stuck to become unstuck....and this post my dear friends is first step to begin that process.

7 comments:

Wanda said...

Oh, Chel: Your post moved me. I've been in ministry for 46 years, in the public eye many time, spoke to groups, but opening a blog....was the scariest thing I've ever done in my life!!!!!You are not alone, dear friend. I've been a people pleaser all my life and the pain of rejection still plagues me from time to time. Like the alligator in one of my posts, got to face that fear and work through it....and YOU DID!
10 boxer puppies....can't wait to see a picture.
As far as the watercolors. No, I don't have a place to view them unless you come to my house and wander around looking at my walls. My daughter did take pictures of my painting, and those I will be sharing on my post from time to time. Thank you for your words of encouragement I so glad you like my paintings.

musemother said...

dear chel
brave you to be taking care of 10 puppies, i know it's a lot of work. I posted the info about writing the body on my website comments page, so check it out.
What is the work you do with women?
jenn/musemother

Susannah said...

it takes a while to get into the blogging groove - i have one bloggie-friend who wrote on her blog for over a year before she started receiving any comments - i think as long as we come to the page with an opn heart we can do no wrong :-) Congratulations on the puppies - you must post a photo! x

daisies said...

i've been blogging since 2003 and in the beginning, my only commenters were the friends i knew ... over time, my blog changed, i changed and i started making friends all over the place. it is scary to put yourself out there and brave and i am glad i go to be your first :)

its still cold and snowy here too ... i can't wait for spring's burst of colour ~ wow, 10 boxer puppies, how absolutely adorable they must be :)

daisies said...

oh ... and years of doing this and i still get stuck sometimes ;-)

musemother said...

Dear Chel,
my email is up on my profile. (but I don't see yours) I would love to write to ask you about what you are doing, holistic healing, women's courses, etc. and give you my address re Little Mother.
so write me, please,
jenn

renovating this heart said...

Hello dear. I started reading your blog before you ever commented on mine! How funny is that? Thank you for your words and I'll keep reading. I think feelings of "stuck" are very common in the blog world.... I go in and out of those phases all the time. In one right now, actually. Words just haven't been coming. So I'm relaxing in this stuck place until the words come back.