This morning I received a package from a dear old friend...we've created this lovely ritual of sending boxes filled with delightful little thoughts and gifts chosen carefully to bring a smile or a nod we send them at random for no specific reason. When a box arrives I savor the thought of opening it until I have a moment to relish each treasure with a cup of tea or glass of wine. The anticipation is as joyful as the opening itself. It is the honoring of a friendship, the time and tenderness of the packaging, the surprise and caring, not specifically the content, that I love (although the contents are truly wonderful!!) Receiving this box out of the blue, not for my birthday, not out of obligation, with no strings attached, validates me, whispers "you are loved", celebrates me. Oh what a gift...what a priceless gift.
(I'd love to share some photos but am struggling to post...when I click on the add image icon nothing happens. Any suggestions?)
Thursday, March 22, 2007
Monday, March 19, 2007
Stuck
I started this wonderful blog...sent a few comments to others and then I GOT STUCK.
First of all there was the fear of no response, I was afraid to open my blog because I was afraid I would be left alone with my Hand & Spirit posts ( which by the way would not be totally unreasonable since I just entered this whole world) however the insecurity was louder than logic and I just avoided this space for a while....but then 2 days ago I peeked and YES!!! I had a few comments YEA! and THank-you THank-you THank-you. Next came the fear ....What if I show up and they don't like me?!?! Silly me, Silly thoughts, I am 45 years old and I KNOW all the mature true ways to respond to a fear like that .....but I did vow to be honest here and so I am. Anyway this morning I went to go off to work and my car wouldn't start after making a few calls and some arrangements I surrendered to the fact that I would be "STUCK" at home today. The irony of being stuck home alone with my "stuckness" prompted me to move forward.
I have had a wonderful weekend which started on THursday with the birth of 10, yes 10 boxer puppies! All went incredibly well, and our dear Keano is a wonderful mommy. So as a result we have had a bevy of friends and family stopping by to see the sweet new babies as well as two of my sons home from college to visit and meet them. It is always sooo delightful to have them home. Oh...I forgot to mention that on Friday we had a huge snow storm arrive which cancelled some previously scheduled activities and allowed us to stay home and enjoy each other, the new puppies and all our visitors!!! The other little bonus I got from this flurry of activity was a great excuse to put off all the things I've been afraid to tend to, you know the things that make your heart a bit heavy or show up as eye twitches or just plain exhaustion. And then today....WA LA! My car won't start and I get stuck to become unstuck....and this post my dear friends is first step to begin that process.
First of all there was the fear of no response, I was afraid to open my blog because I was afraid I would be left alone with my Hand & Spirit posts ( which by the way would not be totally unreasonable since I just entered this whole world) however the insecurity was louder than logic and I just avoided this space for a while....but then 2 days ago I peeked and YES!!! I had a few comments YEA! and THank-you THank-you THank-you. Next came the fear ....What if I show up and they don't like me?!?! Silly me, Silly thoughts, I am 45 years old and I KNOW all the mature true ways to respond to a fear like that .....but I did vow to be honest here and so I am. Anyway this morning I went to go off to work and my car wouldn't start after making a few calls and some arrangements I surrendered to the fact that I would be "STUCK" at home today. The irony of being stuck home alone with my "stuckness" prompted me to move forward.
I have had a wonderful weekend which started on THursday with the birth of 10, yes 10 boxer puppies! All went incredibly well, and our dear Keano is a wonderful mommy. So as a result we have had a bevy of friends and family stopping by to see the sweet new babies as well as two of my sons home from college to visit and meet them. It is always sooo delightful to have them home. Oh...I forgot to mention that on Friday we had a huge snow storm arrive which cancelled some previously scheduled activities and allowed us to stay home and enjoy each other, the new puppies and all our visitors!!! The other little bonus I got from this flurry of activity was a great excuse to put off all the things I've been afraid to tend to, you know the things that make your heart a bit heavy or show up as eye twitches or just plain exhaustion. And then today....WA LA! My car won't start and I get stuck to become unstuck....and this post my dear friends is first step to begin that process.
Sunday, March 4, 2007
My First Step
Ahhhh.....here goes my first step into bloggie world. I enter slowly with little trepidation, I long to share and connect but at the same time I hesitate, I can be slow to open up , fearful of being misunderstood or not taken seriously. I first discovered this way of connecting when a friend suggested I view "A Walk in My Shoes" blogspot. Darlene was so raw and eloquent and true in telling her story I was completely drawn in and have continued reading and caring about her journey since...I was in awe and deeply moved by the loving caring and present community she had in her fellow bloggers. Thus here I am, hopeful, dedicated and trusting to another way of being present, of reaching out and letting in.
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